Living by myself in a foreign land was an experience I had the opportunity to take in Turkey. I spent two months there and then returned to Brazil – to my son and partner – for three months. Coming back was a struggle as I had become used to a life of independence and freedom from responsibility, finances, and domestic issues.
In Turkey, I could explore restaurants, bars, and other places of interest without being judged or scolded for taking time. It was a liberating feeling that reminded me of my carefree younger years; I was 20 all over again. A comforting surge of energy came with the knowledge that I was thrilled and feeling young.
Despite being around my friends, something was missing. An emptiness started to creep in, and soon loneliness followed. I would lay awake in bed at night, pondering what was happening.
I decided to speak to a therapist, who explained that we all feel lonely at some point. It often stems from not having meaningful relationships, feeling disconnected from others, or losing someone close. The desire for attention can be heightened during lonely times – and while it’s ok to seek out connection, it’s important to remember that attention from the wrong person can be harmful. Suddenly I wanted someone to put me in the centre of their world and accept me for who I was.
When we are lonely, we can be drawn to those who offer us attention and affection, even if there are warning signs. We can fear being alone and lose ourselves trying to keep them in our lives. But we must remember that this kind of attention needs to be more authentic and lasting. The right person will give us attention and affection, respect, support us, and be a true partner. Someone who will stay by your side through the good times and bad and will push you to reach your goals. A person always there for you in your greatest joys and darkest hours.
It is essential to take a step back and consider why we are receiving the attention we are getting. Are they genuinely concerned for us and our well-being, or are they just attempting to fill a void in their own life? If it is the latter, it might be best to distance oneself from them and search for someone that cares about us. That is what I did. I stepped away from my family, partner and son and took some time to recover emotionally. Then, I found myself on the path to happiness.
Ultimately, I understood that the wrong person could make us feel like the right person when alone and desperate for attention. It is crucial to remember that relationships based on respect, trust, and genuine care will last much longer than those that do not have these elements. People who induce you to think there is a magical solution to real problems. Or demand you be the person to solve their problems – financial, emotional, or fulfilling their teenage dreams. Who makes you break promises, lie, and become someone you are not comfortable being. Don’t be afraid to leave behind those who bring pain, hurt, and wrongdoings into your life. Those whom you think you love, but deep inside you know is just an anchor because you feel you are lost in a sea without north, hope and time. . The right people who will give you true joy and gratificationis the one who faces the world to be at your side without asking much, only respect, attention, and love. That’s what ended up working for me, even if it was too late.
H. S. Campoy 